September ‘25

Hobby

I crave

purpose in the moment and the day

I find

delight in a solitary avocation

I abide

the routine: setting up equipment, pouring wax, cleaning up

I look

closely at every empty container, wick and measured ounce of hot wax and fragrance oil

I putter

with tasks like trimming wicks and adhering labels

I learn

to do candle math, create a website, and to ask for help

I struggle

with tedious multi-day steps to create handmade cement containers

I will

myself to prepare in February to sell in October

I depend

on no one but myself, yet on countless others

I risk

my hard earned money on unseen costs to hustle a small business

I fight

to create space to create

I accept

my limitations - and others’

I strengthen

my body for the work of my hands and the hauling work of markets

I discover

I can do and be more than I imagined the day before

I despair

to find space in a world full of other candle makers

I determine

to focus on what I alone can create

I wonder

who wants to collaborate and how I will find them

I respond

to opportunity with curiosity

I connect

with other like-minded creatives, and strangers who may or may not buy my candles

I keep

pride in my pocket where it stays contained

I fear

the valley between me making a candle…and someone buying it

I hope

like a child on Christmas Eve

I venture

out like I know what I’m doing

I repeat

because it is like breathing

I make

candles

And candles make me.